X. The Pleasure of Paper and Plane
03.16.09 / 3pm

Montage of our performance at the Note in Wicker Park Chicago… November 25th 2003.

—–

So there I was blissfully making music again…

A beautiful muse, and a dear friend to accompanying me along my journey.

-

I playfully started to putting pen to paper…

Filled with thoughts of both a poisonous and plusher reality,

Where I would heroically dance in the spotlight again,

While my anguish took on an antagonists face.

-

My life began to take on the percolation of potent purpose…

Healing myself head-first with musical belief, happy in that seductively smokey-sedation.

-

I started to perform again…

Traversing the stages of the staples of the Chicago Local Music Scene…

The Note, Elbo Room, and Lounge Ax, just to name a few.

-

And I unfortunately started telling jokes again…

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his crotch.

The Bartender says… “Hey Pirate, you got a steering wheel sticking out of yer’ crotch!”

The Pirate goes… “Arrrrgh!  It’s Drivin’ Me Nutz!”

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Janina - “Back the F#ck Off Me!!!”
—–
The music we were making, which has now become clear in retrospect,
Was quite unnaturally angry for me, and even more generous in its genetic melancholy.

“Tell Me What”, was born of the raging current of resentment I had for my own failures,

Combined with my dear friends love of evil-techno, and Janina’s profound coincidental confidence :)

When we would perform “Tell Me What” live,  Janina would stomp about the stage in her bright yellow rain boots and sari,

And I would abandon my keyboard to beat the hell out of a solitary drum.

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Screaming… “Back The F#ck Off Me!!!”… just felt soooooo good.

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There was another track that was fortunately never finished, but I’ll give a sample of the lyrics as I remember them…

“It’s time we take it outside Mother F#cker!”
“Its time you get a fist in the eye - Mother F#cker!”
“I’m gonna step all over your pride - Mother F#cker!”
“You pissed off the wrong guy, when you pushed me across that line…”

-

Anyone who has ever looked lower than the horizon to see me, knows that I clearly can’t pull this off.

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(Any five-foot five and a half Indian boy with this much attitude, SHOULD get a life-time ban from the Bhangra Party :)

—–
—–
There was also the bitter-sweetness in the music, a deeper sadness than I had ever flavored before.

“Till We Meet Again”, “Wonderful”, and the trilogy of one’s last breathe…

“Sometimes”, “A Second Before”, and “Between”

Carry within them the heaviest of humanities weight…

-

“Won’t you come care for me, then maybe I can become much stronger…
I know that it’s much that I’m asking, for you to bare this pain and this hunger…
But as my flesh is failing me, I pray to grieve on your shoulder…
I know that loves a lot to give, when I won’t live much longer.”

-

Have I been forever forged to feel such abandon?

—–
The first few steps of my new life...
—–
And it was with my laptop packed with these tracks, during the break of Christmas 2003…
I had ventured a casual three-week vacation with my mom and sister to India…
-

Little knowing that this journey would come to become my life…

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A delicious detour destined towards no discernible end…

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Click to read all of these entries in order…

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