It has been difficult for me to find this beginning…

I dangle in between planes, with little to hold me in place, and its been too tight a grip with this same dream upon my shoulders. I’ll make the effort to catch you up as we journey forward. At least as sincere a promise as a forgetful mind will reach.

I used to feel guided, like there was a finger nudging my paper boat as I drifted down a stream. Now I feel manipulated and punished, held back year after year, like the world is still giving me the finger, only without the stream.

There are periods in my life that I struggle to remember. Countless days back between Chicago and San Francisco, lost to late nights and lofty dreams. I am unable to account for several months of my life, let alone how those steps have led this American Desi back to this Modern India…

—–

I am not young anymore.

Will everyone come to carry this permanent sadness? It is so cliche’ and so obvious to miss out on how grand life really is, before the first time you notice it subtly slipping away from you.

I have been privileged, and I have had a great deal more than my share. I have enjoyed at the expense of an uncertain future, and I have yet to begin to pay anything back…

But my implied pedigree is a weak one, and whether the son of a surgeon, or the Ambassador of an American Dream, I’ve just been handed a bill. Life it seems, has come collecting.

—–

I make music and I’ve been a bit confused as of late as to whether or not I’m making it for the right reasons anymore.

I’m not even certain that I hold the promise I once had anymore.

The light inside me may not shine so bright anymore…

But I still have a good heart, a dream, and wonderful people around me…

I still want to connect with the soul of lyric and beat…